Family as the First Government
Family as the First Government
The foundation of all society is the family. Before there were kings or councils, before constitutions or courts, there was the family—designed by God as the primary institution for human flourishing. Families who act morally according to natural law, which is the law of God, are the foundation of a just society in a fallen world.
Civil law orders a society, but unless individuals take responsibility within that society, the culture we know will change, often for the worse. Self-government is just that: governing the self. The individual takes ownership of his or her actions, striving to live peacefully within the culture in which one resides. But where does this self-government begin? It begins at home.
Why Family Comes First
Strong families lead to a strong nation. We see this truth from the very first pages of Scripture when we read that God brought Eve to Adam and joined them together in marriage, establishing the first family unit (Genesis 2:20-25).
The family is where we first learn what it means to live with others. It's where we discover that our actions have consequences, that our words carry weight, and that love requires sacrifice. These aren't abstract civic principles—they're daily realities practiced around the dinner table, in moments of conflict and reconciliation, in the ordinary rhythms of life together.
The Home as Training Ground
Every person has moral agency—we each stand accountable before God for our own choices (Ezekiel 18). We must learn to love those we live with—and that's no small task. Growing up with siblings, I was taught to think of others. This was not something I readily practiced, to be sure.
My natural inclination was toward self-interest, just like any other child. However, the principle was instilled in me from a very early age: you are not the center of the universe, and your family's flourishing depends, in part, on your willingness to serve.
Respect for just civil law grows naturally when we train a child in the way he should go, in the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6). Diligence is modeled when parents faithfully provide for their household. Honest humility is put on display when we confess our wrongs to one another. Integrity is practiced imperfectly but persistently within the home and these are the building blocks of a free society.
Three Habits for Family Government
So how do we, as parents, cultivate this kind of culture at home? Let me suggest three practical habits:
First, establish regular times of instruction
Whether it's family devotions, conversations at the dinner table, or bedtime discussions, create consistent moments where you talk about the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. Teach your children that freedom comes with responsibility, that rights are grounded in God's design, and that we have a calling to serve our neighbors.
Second, give your children real responsibilities
Self-government isn't learned through lectures, but through relationships. Assign chores, expect follow-through, and allow natural consequences when commitments aren't met. But keep grace at the forefront when they fail and show them the love of Christ in the midst of their failings. This isn't about perfection—it's about building the habit of faithfulness in small things in light of what Christ has done for us (Philippians 2:1-11).
Third, model what you teach
Your children are watching how you handle disappointment, how you speak about authorities, how you treat those who disagree with you. If we want our children to become self-governing citizens who love their neighbors, we must show them what that looks like in our own lives, for we are to “remember (our) leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7).
Want to see how these principles shaped America's founding? The American Principles Series walks through this foundation in detail.
The Ripple Effect
When families embrace their role as the first government, the effects ripple outward. Self-governing individuals form healthy churches who act in the fear of God. Healthy churches strengthen communities. Strong communities build resilient states. And resilient states preserve a free nation.
This is not a new idea—it's as old as creation itself. God designed the family to be the foundational institution of human society. When families flourish, nations flourish. When families fail, everything built upon them begins to crumble.
The good news is that we don't need permission from Washington to strengthen our families. We can start today, in our own homes, with the people God has placed in our care. The work of rebuilding a nation begins not with elections or legislation, but with faithful parents raising children who love Jesus and walk in His ways.
A Word of Caution
Let me be clear: our ultimate hope is not in moral reform but in the gospel. We're not trying to legislate righteousness or force Christian values on a secular state. We're simply living out our faith, and as we do, the fruit of faithful living naturally blesses our neighbors and nation. Our mission is to proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9), trusting that the meek will inherit the earth in God's good timing (Matthew 5:5).